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Adultconnect pics

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20191210_135333_2.jpg

AdultConnect_usa

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20191210_135115_2 (1).jpg

AdultConnect_uk

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20190927_154300_2(1).jpg

AdultConnect_uk

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20191018_190635_2(1).jpg

AdultConnect_uk

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20191018_190635_2(1).jpg

AdultConnect_uk

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20191018_190658_2(1).jpg

AdultConnect_uk

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1568779296569.20190917_205921.jpg(1).jpg

AdultConnect_uk

If a woman has sex with a hundred men...... She is a considered a slut. If a man

If a woman has sex with a hundred men...... She is a considered a slut. If a man does the same thing, he is gay.

AdultConnect_usa

COME TO ME JOURNALBOT *Journalbot enters my study* ok write this down: Polar bears

COME TO ME JOURNALBOT *Journalbot enters my study* ok write this down: Polar bears are bear ghosts. "polargeists" [very sad robot noises]

AdultConnect_usa

A Brazilian got the first gold medal The police are already after him.

A Brazilian got the first gold medal The police are already after him.

AdultConnect_usa

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AdultConnect_uk

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AdultConnect_uk

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AdultConnect_uk

I showed my son a floppy disk today... ...he said: 'oh cool, you 3D-printed a save

I showed my son a floppy disk today... ...he said: 'oh cool, you 3D-printed a save icon'

AdultConnect_uk

*calls into work* "yo boss i'm real sick" "you don't sound sick..."

*calls into work* "yo boss i'm real sick" "you don't sound sick..." "ya, just got a new tribal tat & heelys" "wow u do sound hella sick"

AdultConnect_uk

"Oh you just put lotion on? You're not going anywhere." - Doorknob

"Oh you just put lotion on? You're not going anywhere." - Doorknob

AdultConnect_uk

TIL A ref can show a player the red card for a loud fart ... even if it isn't Messi.

TIL A ref can show a player the red card for a loud fart ... even if it isn't Messi.

AdultConnect, Adult_Network

A Midget Walked Past Me On The Sidewalk Today Wearing A Shirt That Said "I Hate

A Midget Walked Past Me On The Sidewalk Today Wearing A Shirt That Said "I Hate Black People" ...I thought to myself "Well damn- thats a little racist.

AdultConnect_uk

First woman on the moon W: Houston, we have a problem H: What is it? W: Nevermind

First woman on the moon W: Houston, we have a problem H: What is it? W: Nevermind its nothing H: What is the problem? W: Nothing... H: Tell us what the problem is! W: NO!

AdultConnect, Adult_Network

Today I learned two things: 1. Build-A-Bear Workshop only lets you stuff fake animals

Today I learned two things: 1. Build-A-Bear Workshop only lets you stuff fake animals 2. Mall security guards get to use real handcuffs

AdultConnect, Adult_Network

I once had a crippiling masturbation addiction... ...now i have a sex addiction,

I once had a crippiling masturbation addiction... ...now i have a sex addiction, could you say my addiction has gotten out of hand?

AdultConnect, Adult_Network

What's a pirate's favourite type of weaponry? It's ARRRtillery! bonus: A pirate's

What's a pirate's favourite type of weaponry? It's ARRRtillery! bonus: A pirate's favourite melee weapon? A scimitARRR

AdultConnect, Adult_Network

What was the name of Paul Revere's favorite porno mag? The British are Coming

What was the name of Paul Revere's favorite porno mag? The British are Coming

AdultConnect, Adult_Network

Sometimes I'll start talking to someone on the train, then go "Oh, this is where

Sometimes I'll start talking to someone on the train, then go "Oh, this is where I get off" then close my eyes & stick my hand in my pants.

AdultConnect_uk

I think r/jokes may be glitched Top of all time and new both show the same jokes

I think r/jokes may be glitched Top of all time and new both show the same jokes

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

Is that mine? I was walking down the street when I saw black guy with a laptop. Is

Is that mine? I was walking down the street when I saw black guy with a laptop. Is that mine? I thought. It looks exactly like mine... but that can't be... Mine should be at home cleaning my shoes.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

A programmer began to cuss Because getting to sleep was a fuss. When laying in her

A programmer began to cuss Because getting to sleep was a fuss. When laying in her bed Looping round in her head Was: while (!asleep()): sheep++;

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

Why are normal human body temperatures around 98.7*F? Because we're all a little

Why are normal human body temperatures around 98.7*F? Because we're all a little obtuse.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

what is the best way to smuggle drugs? In your dogs asshole. Should there be border

what is the best way to smuggle drugs? In your dogs asshole. Should there be border control frisking, it will be perceived as two dogs plain wolfing

AdultConnect_uk

Them: If you were stranded on a desert island with any two people, living or dead,

Them: If you were stranded on a desert island with any two people, living or dead, who would they be? Me: Can they both be dead?

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

Year 2142: Meat eaters have died out. Vegans survive. 2143: Everyone is dead b/c

Year 2142: Meat eaters have died out. Vegans survive. 2143: Everyone is dead b/c the vegans couldn't tell anyone else that they were vegan.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

Did you hear about the man who choked on an issue of The Guardian after learning

Did you hear about the man who choked on an issue of The Guardian after learning about his brothers passing? He found the news hard to swallow.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

I am an expert at making balloon animals. May I interest you in a hyphen or a pickle?

I am an expert at making balloon animals. May I interest you in a hyphen or a pickle?

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

What do you call a midget with no teeth A gum job.

What do you call a midget with no teeth A gum job.

AdultConnect, Adult_Network

What is Jeb Bush's campaign slogan? Third time's the charm

What is Jeb Bush's campaign slogan? Third time's the charm

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

Shout out to my self-aware friends, you know who you are

Shout out to my self-aware friends, you know who you are

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

Put the punchline in the title. How do you piss off a redditor?

Put the punchline in the title. How do you piss off a redditor?

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

Got disoriented and walked into the wrong classroom. Didn't want to look stupid so

Got disoriented and walked into the wrong classroom. Didn't want to look stupid so I just went ahead and switched majors.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

Islam is a race. Because it's inbreeds fucking each other.

Islam is a race. Because it's inbreeds fucking each other.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

No one is more unnecessarily confident than a white person that just ordered Mexican

No one is more unnecessarily confident than a white person that just ordered Mexican food in a Spanish accent.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

Dad and son A son asks his father "Why does my bum hurt" while the father

Dad and son A son asks his father "Why does my bum hurt" while the father replies "Because I love you son"

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

Why doesn't Hitler go ski? Cause he's blown his fucking head.

Why doesn't Hitler go ski? Cause he's blown his fucking head.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

Life is like art done in chalk, beautiful but temporary, enjoy it while possible.

Life is like art done in chalk, beautiful but temporary, enjoy it while possible.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

What do black men find most shocking about sex? Tazers

What do black men find most shocking about sex? Tazers

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

What type of fruit is not allowed to get married? Cantaloupe...

What type of fruit is not allowed to get married? Cantaloupe...

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

asdf

asdf

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

A man goes to the vet about his dog's fleas. The vet says: 'I'm sorry, I'll have

A man goes to the vet about his dog's fleas. The vet says: 'I'm sorry, I'll have to put this dog down.' The man is incredulous and asks why. The vet says: 'Because he's far too heavy.'

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

An infectious disease enters a bar... the bartender says,"we dont serve your

An infectious disease enters a bar... the bartender says,"we dont serve your kind here". The disease replies, "well you're not a very good host!"

AdultConnect_uk

If you hear the words "oh yeah, suck it" coming from my bedroom, it's probably

If you hear the words "oh yeah, suck it" coming from my bedroom, it's probably just me vacuuming.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

A Kiss can make my whole day... But anal could make my hole weak

A Kiss can make my whole day... But anal could make my hole weak

AdultConnect_uk

The Presidential Debate We don't know if Hillary is telling the truth, and we're

The Presidential Debate We don't know if Hillary is telling the truth, and we're hoping Trump isn't

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

ME: all the King's horses and men couldn't put u back together HUMPTY DUMPTY: what

ME: all the King's horses and men couldn't put u back together HUMPTY DUMPTY: what now M: [opening package of bacon] I'll think of something

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

I feel quite light today. Pounds aren't what they used to be.

I feel quite light today. Pounds aren't what they used to be.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

Yup. If pasta & antipasta ever touch, they annihilate. For your safety, that's

Yup. If pasta & antipasta ever touch, they annihilate. For your safety, that's why restaurants never serve them together.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

What do you call a frisbee that's more than a friend? Frisbae

What do you call a frisbee that's more than a friend? Frisbae

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

I'm glad it's the thought that counts because I spend all day thinking about the

I'm glad it's the thought that counts because I spend all day thinking about the shit I should be doing.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

I have this fun drinking game where you take a drink every time you'd like one because

I have this fun drinking game where you take a drink every time you'd like one because you're an adult and you can make decisions yourself.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

If these walls could talk I'd fuckin' move out immediately.

If these walls could talk I'd fuckin' move out immediately.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

What's a pirate's favourite type of weaponry? It's ARRRtillery! bonus: A pirate's

What's a pirate's favourite type of weaponry? It's ARRRtillery! bonus: A pirate's favourite melee weapon? A scimitARRR

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

Two fish are in a tank... One is driving, and the other is manning the guns.

Two fish are in a tank... One is driving, and the other is manning the guns.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa