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Adultconnect pics

how many people does it take to save the world? zero (compliments to my SO who thinks

how many people does it take to save the world? zero (compliments to my SO who thinks she made this up)

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

If your'e anxious and you know it..... ...clasp your hands.

If your'e anxious and you know it..... ...clasp your hands.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

My girlfriend left me after I broke her wheelchair..... Oh,, I think she'll come

My girlfriend left me after I broke her wheelchair..... Oh,, I think she'll come crawling back soon..

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

Why do Canadians do it doggy style? So they can both watch the hockey game.

Why do Canadians do it doggy style? So they can both watch the hockey game.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

They just found a Black guy hanging from a tree with 79 stab wounds in Alabama....

They just found a Black guy hanging from a tree with 79 stab wounds in Alabama.... The police say it's the worst case of suicide they've ever seen

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

Nothing good has ever gone into a microwave at 3:00am.

Nothing good has ever gone into a microwave at 3:00am.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

What English King invented the fireplace ? Alfred the grate !

What English King invented the fireplace ? Alfred the grate !

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

My dog can predict when an earthquake is going to happen. But television doorbell

My dog can predict when an earthquake is going to happen. But television doorbell versus actual doorbell baffles him every time.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

I love raccoons. Part cat. Part dog. Part rodent. Part bear. Little people hands.

I love raccoons. Part cat. Part dog. Part rodent. Part bear. Little people hands. What's not to like?

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

Nsfw Whats the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? The zit waits untill

Nsfw Whats the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? The zit waits untill you're 12 to come onto your face.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

What is the biggest compliment you can pay at a gay bar? Pushing in somebody's stool.

What is the biggest compliment you can pay at a gay bar? Pushing in somebody's stool.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

I just found out I am a hipster Because I started using #NotMyPresident 8 years ago.

I just found out I am a hipster Because I started using #NotMyPresident 8 years ago.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

My doctor had to put me on a new medication that's supposed to help lower the amount

My doctor had to put me on a new medication that's supposed to help lower the amount of karate in my blood

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

To all the girls that say Gentlemen don't exist anymore: They do exist but Gentlemen

To all the girls that say Gentlemen don't exist anymore: They do exist but Gentlemen are attracted to Ladies. Not s?uts. Sorry.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

This may be not be a mainstream opinion, but I don't believe you should cut down

This may be not be a mainstream opinion, but I don't believe you should cut down a Christmas tree unless you intend on eating it.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

I want to start a coffee shop that only plays ambient/electronic music... and call

I want to start a coffee shop that only plays ambient/electronic music... and call it Brian Beano.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

Letsh Have Shex! -Horny Sean Connery

Letsh Have Shex! -Horny Sean Connery

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

Q: How many Kings of Spain does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Juan

Q: How many Kings of Spain does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Juan

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

its macaroni and cheese not macaroni and steve

its macaroni and cheese not macaroni and steve

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

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AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

Why did Adele cross the road? She wanted to say hello from the other side. ^^^^^^hilarious

Why did Adele cross the road? She wanted to say hello from the other side. ^^^^^^hilarious ^^^^^^and ^^^^^^original ^^^^^^hahahahahahahahahelpme

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

It's comforting to know that the US government works the same way as a college student

It's comforting to know that the US government works the same way as a college student when it comes to deadlines... They both wait until the last minute, then get an extension.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her

What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

Q. What does a woman's asshole do when she is having an orgasm? A. He is usually

Q. What does a woman's asshole do when she is having an orgasm? A. He is usually home with the kids!

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

There's a 100% chance the Republicans will discuss Starbucks cups in a debate tonight,

There's a 100% chance the Republicans will discuss Starbucks cups in a debate tonight, so remember that when they ask how they lost in 2016.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

In Florida, a couple has been accused of making meth in a public library. Isn't that

In Florida, a couple has been accused of making meth in a public library. Isn't that crazy? Florida has a library. -Conan Monologue June 12, 2014

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

Guy comes home with a flower bouquet... "Guess I'll have to spread my legs now",

Guy comes home with a flower bouquet... "Guess I'll have to spread my legs now", says the wife. "Why? Don't you have a vase?" the husband replies.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

You can't keep eating people's lunches from the break room & blaming the

You can't keep eating people's lunches from the break room & blaming the Taliban. A lot of what you've been stealing is pork for one thing.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

you knew the backstreet boys were actually friends because when the one boy asks

you knew the backstreet boys were actually friends because when the one boy asks if hes "sexual" the rest of the boys all agree that he is

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

Why don't you see hippos hiding in trees? Because they're really good at it.

Why don't you see hippos hiding in trees? Because they're really good at it.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

What's better than two roses on your piano? Tulips on your organ.

What's better than two roses on your piano? Tulips on your organ.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

Q) How do you spot a happy motorcyclist in fair weather? A) He's got bugs on his

Q) How do you spot a happy motorcyclist in fair weather? A) He's got bugs on his teeth.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

If I had a penny for every Donald Trump joke, I would have a small loan of one million

If I had a penny for every Donald Trump joke, I would have a small loan of one million dollars

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

What do you call an iPhone 6S that ran out memory space. Successful

What do you call an iPhone 6S that ran out memory space. Successful

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

What happened when the girl dressed as a spoon left the Halloween party ? No one

What happened when the girl dressed as a spoon left the Halloween party ? No one moved. They couldn't stir without her.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

If Trump wins, I'm leaving the country, if Clinton wins I'm leaving the country Not

If Trump wins, I'm leaving the country, if Clinton wins I'm leaving the country Not a political post, I just love to travel

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

Pupil: My teacher was mad with me because I didn't know where the Rockies were. Mother:

Pupil: My teacher was mad with me because I didn't know where the Rockies were. Mother: Well next time remember where you put things!

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

Me: waiter, do you have frog legs? Waiter: of course monsieur Me: good, hop over

Me: waiter, do you have frog legs? Waiter: of course monsieur Me: good, hop over there and get me a beer

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

ADHD is ADD in high definition.

ADHD is ADD in high definition.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

What do you call a bald porcupine? Pointless.

What do you call a bald porcupine? Pointless.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

What bees makes the best milk ? Boob-bees And also this is my first time using Reddit

What bees makes the best milk ? Boob-bees And also this is my first time using Reddit and my account is only 30 minutes old by the time of this post so I have no idea what I am doing

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

I like my slaves like I like my coffee Fair Trade.

I like my slaves like I like my coffee Fair Trade.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

Person who fought in WWII hit with pepper spray... Now he is a seasoned veteran.

Person who fought in WWII hit with pepper spray... Now he is a seasoned veteran.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

How to keep the flies off the bride at an Italian wedding Keep a bucket of shit next

How to keep the flies off the bride at an Italian wedding Keep a bucket of shit next to her

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

What do you call children born of ginger people? Ginger-bred

What do you call children born of ginger people? Ginger-bred

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

Did you hear about the Coldplay concert in China last weekend? It was all yellow.

Did you hear about the Coldplay concert in China last weekend? It was all yellow.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

Wanna hear a pun about long hair? Rapunzel.

Wanna hear a pun about long hair? Rapunzel.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

[Spelling Bee] -Your word is phlegm -Can you use it in a sentence? *loudly clears

[Spelling Bee] -Your word is phlegm -Can you use it in a sentence? *loudly clears throat for 5 minutes*

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

Hotel California is basically a negative Yelp review with a two minute guitar solo.

Hotel California is basically a negative Yelp review with a two minute guitar solo.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

Sorry I pissed on the walls of your bathroom, but the flowery wall paper made me

Sorry I pissed on the walls of your bathroom, but the flowery wall paper made me think I was outside.. Also you're out of Valium

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

How do two lawyers greet each other? With a firm handshake.

How do two lawyers greet each other? With a firm handshake.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

What's the name of the best brewer in the world? Bock Goodale

What's the name of the best brewer in the world? Bock Goodale

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

A triangle exploded and a piece hit me. It was a 60-debris angle.

A triangle exploded and a piece hit me. It was a 60-debris angle.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

Q: How many Honor Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 22 one to screw

Q: How many Honor Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 22 one to screw it in 21 to shoot the bulb.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

I lost my virginity to a retarded girl last night. I wanted it to be special

I lost my virginity to a retarded girl last night. I wanted it to be special

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

When I die, I want a disease named after me, with symptoms that include "being

When I die, I want a disease named after me, with symptoms that include "being fucking awesome at everything."

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

My mom recently bought a Jesus shaped flashlight When I asked her why she said: So

My mom recently bought a Jesus shaped flashlight When I asked her why she said: So whenever someone says "I can't see" I can be like "here, let Jesus light the path"

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

Your baby might be adorable, but so is my cat and she cleans her own butt.

Your baby might be adorable, but so is my cat and she cleans her own butt.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

What do people from the 1930's and /r/news jokes have in common? They're both old.

What do people from the 1930's and /r/news jokes have in common? They're both old.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

CW: The boss said she wanted to see you. Me: That's flattering, but I don't date

CW: The boss said she wanted to see you. Me: That's flattering, but I don't date people from work.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk