Jizz

I was in bed with my girlfriend. She said, "Does the fact that I'm blind turn you off?" I said, "No, of course not" She said, "Why can't you get an erection then?" I said, "To be honest, the guide dog lying between us is a bit off-putting"

randomsexiness

Fetch the ball they said,don't poo in the carpet they said, bad boy they said.

pics

The other day, I was going down on my girlfriend, I said to her, "Jeez you got a nice pussy. Jeez you got a nice pussy." She said, "Why did you say that twice?" I said, "I didn't."

nsfw

Said no woman ever.

funny

Said she was wet, not what I imagined.

nsfw

Said by me last night - possibly NSFW

AdviceAnimals

Said I must. Why aren't there more hot girls?

195

...said she was 18

NSFWFunny

Try to wear a moustache they said and old school pants they said U'll be sexy they said...

ladybonersgw

Said I had to block her face...

RealGirls

Said "Show me your pussy" on Tinder. Unexpected response.

pics

Said every man on the internet!

AdviceHell

Lets go on Vacation she said, It'll Be Fun, She Said. You'll Love it, She Said.

funny, WTF

Said to (m)y friend that I'm working on getting jacked

gonewild

I went into a shop and I said, "Can someone sell me a kettle." The bloke said "Kenwood" I said, "Where is he?"

OnOff, girlsuncovered

let's go fishing they said... will be fun they said...

WTF

He said i love you. Me and daddy arnt together fully an were just best friends with benifits rn but he knows i love him an want to be together an we used to say it as friends but my love you changed an he stoped saying it an he said it. he said it while i

littlespace

a good toronto lawyer shouldn't do this, they said...what if they find out who you are, they said...(f)uck them, I said

gonewild

Said the hard version was cu(m)ming ! Imagen being at the end of it ;)

gonewild, mangonewild

(M) I have plenty of options mother just Milwaukee, cousin said south bend , brother said layfette,sister said Gary or for school and live comfertble while your house will be in shambles and I'm sorry free and single and making 75,000 a year. Idc

gonewild

(M) str8 outta the shower softie. And like i said i don't havr the biggest dick in the world nore do i have the smallest dick in the world. But he said yea i seen that 6.99 which is 7inches then he said wait to i get back and pull that 14.99 out i was lik

gonewild

Said she can do the rest after I strip all of hers off

ladybonersgw

Her Master said he would fuck her sideways and she said "no way" and he said "way!"

SFandFslavegirls

My landlord called. He let himself in because the rent was due. I was in bed. He said he was going to punish me. That he has the right to but I said he doesnt. Then he said to stay on the bed until he comes back with his friends. What are they going to do

Misogynyfetish

I was eating fruit and I picked up a funny looking blueberry and showed it to my caregiver. I said look at this weird little one...he started to stare at me. I said "Look at iiiiit!" He said that he was. *blushes* he got me good!

littlespace

Join the army, they said. See the world, they said. Do what you're good at, they said

nsfw

"I thought you invited me for soup?" I said. "You're going to eat something," she said, "think of it as a meal substitute." "Ok," I said. "Post it with your other booty call and tell them I am a different woman" "Um, ok"

pussy

I had a potroast dinner and sat down and you know what he said? He said I'm gonna need about $3.50. And I said you get outta here Loch Ness monster! (f) 25!

gonewild

He said "Send nudes." I said "Tell your girlfriend I said hi." ?

gonewildcurvy

"Take a yachting vacation," they said. "Visit exotic ports," they said. "Meet exotic men and fuck them," they said. The scary thing was, none of it was a lie.

SFandFslavegirls

Who wants ruin me? That’s what a man said to me. He said I looked like I needed it. He said he’d ruin me...What can you achieve with me?

Misogynyfetish

(m) had all 3, went to jail for beating dude ass. I had only the re-up money she said I'll bond you out don't touch that. I said we only been talking for 2months. She said so. That's when I knew I had a winner. And I still had hoes but none that down. Hel

gonewild

Get a Victoria's Secret Credit card I said, good idea I said, I won't go overboard I said

BrazilianPanties

Your best friend warned you about that Syrian refugee. She said they call him "the babymaker." She said he never uses protection. She said he would get you pregnant in no time. She was right - and you were fulfilled.

MuslimDom

saide west

burstingout, GoneWildScrubs, smallboobs, groupsex, BrownHotties, Shemale_Big_Cock, DarkestWomen, MarshaMay, HaveToHaveHer, HuggingHentai, handsfree, softcorenights

“They say I should stay away from you,” I said. “They said you’re not good for me.” “I’m not,” he said with a wicked smile, “But doesn’t that make it even more fun?” ― Kassandra Cross, Black Magic: New Adult Witchcraft Paranormal Suspence Romance

gonewildchubby

“They say I should stay away from you,” I said. “They said you’re not good for me.” “I’m not,” he said with a wicked smile, “But doesn’t that make it even more fun?” ― Kassandra Cross, Black Magic: New Adult Witchcraft Paranormal Suspence Romance

maturemilf

Came home and the wife said "you fucked up", I said "no I didn't", she said "yes you did", I said "when", she said "just now when you challenged me. Bend over."

Spanking

“They say I should stay away from you,” I said. “They said you’re not good for me.” “I’m not,” he said with a wicked smile, “But doesn’t that make it even more fun?” ― Kassandra Cross, Black Magic

BBW, 40plusGoneWild, thick

Said I'm numb to your love s,,na-p~agoclands?

stufferdb

Said I feel in to depression s!na'p<lortsroot!

BoobBaseAlpha

Said: Stop hold the phone this has to be s?n!a,p>sushiscud

IntenseAmateur

Said nigga don't speed again s,nap_thornsdry

DifferentGirlsSameBed

Said me llamo Roy Johnson sn-ap<loanchood

Shywifepics

Your husband said you needed to get in shape, your husband said you needed a gym membership, your husband said you needed a trainer. I'm sure he thought you needed this too.

HentaiAndRoleplayy, u_Kuuderechanyt

Said I♀d poxt when I had a new pic! And there you go

braceface