Jizz

every time my face is a cock magnet

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Whenever I show up late for work [NSFW]

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Taking the bus to work again!

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My face when I read he "pulled his big cock out of Brady's cock with an audible pop"

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MRW someone asks for seconds and there's no more food

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When I eat mexican food directly after eating indian food. [NSFW]

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When I found out David Archuleta is my biological father.

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Bragging to all of my friends about my cakeday [Possibly NSFW]

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MFW gifs loop perfectly

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MRW my girlfriend tells me we're out of milk. [NSFW]

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MRW I find out I have crabs. [nsfw]

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MRW my mom leaves period blood on the toilet seat.

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MRW a Best Buy Sales Rep doesn't know what a wire stripper is...

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When it's my first day as a firefighter and I'm trying to impress my new colleagues. [NSFW]

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Polishing (m)y knob ;-* [NSFW]

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When I walk in on my two sisters in the shower

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MRW I visit /r/spacedicks

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My reaction when something feels funny in my ass.

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MRW I have a penis

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MRW I'm an alien and get a job as a burlesque dancer

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MFW I tip m'fedora to m'ladies

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MRW an invisible wizard unveils me as a lizard person and turns my forearms into horse heads[NSFW]

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MRW i'm a milking machine and the dairyman drinks milk straight from the hose

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[NSFW] MRW Kristen Bell breaks up with me.

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MRW the finish line is made of razor-wire

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MRW i chew 5 gum NSFW/NSFL

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MRW I visit r/atheism

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MRW She tells me to put the taco in the basket

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MRW I picked a Master Rank Difficult Chest in Skyrim and I get wooden sword out of it

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MRW she tells me to go deeper but I got nothing left NSFW

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MFW eating the pussy

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When I'm waiting for the ping pong ball

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When I'm a metaphor for slut shaming

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MRW a girl with a black eye says she slipped and smacked her face on a door know by accident. NSFW

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MRW I let all my adopted kids know that I unsubscribed from /r/nofap

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MRW my bf, who tried to kill me by throwing acid in my face, finally breaks up with me

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MFW i get my first boner

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MRW the battery in my back is not enough anymore and I need something more extreme to keep me going. [NSFW]

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When mom goes to the store and you have the whole living room to yourself

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MRW I yelled that somebody I'm in the bathroom but the person busted in anyway. [NSFW]

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MRW I try to make slapping a pussy ass nigga look sexy

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MRW I lost my virginity

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MRW I’m self conscious and someone walks in the from and says “It smells like Richard Gere’s butthole in here”.

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MRW my much taller boyfriend and I have been having sex for a bit too long and he asks how to get me off in a hurry

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My friend tries to exorcise someone with a dildo but his hands have been possessed by Darth Vader

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MRW I go down on my GF but I forgot she's on her period.

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Tom...

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MRW I have a flashback of my first date. NSFW

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MRW me and my straight buddy are watching a porn and it gets super hot but then we remember we like boobs so it's not gay or anything

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Casually putting on an invisible jet pack (Marked NSFW because there hasn't been thorough testing for invisible jet-packs)

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MRW I push the button on my electric toothbrush before I put it in my mouth

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1 MRW the bible reading gets to Judges 9:27 International Standard Version

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MRW When my friend asks if I remember my favorite part of the horror themed orgy.

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MRW I hit the Human Torch with my car

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