How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them.
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Jizz
Adultconnect Uk pics
How do you confuse a blind person? Toss them a basketball and ask them to read it.
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Hey, is your name Paul Revere? Because I want to give you a midnight ride!
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I got tasered by a female cop the other night.. never have I laid eyes upon a more stunning beauty.
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My toilet stopped working today. He decided he's had enough of my shit
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"honey don't you think you're treating one of our kids unfairly?" "who? Tim, Felix or the fat one?"
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There's a black man in my family tree... He's been hanging there for a while now.
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If we have learned anything from the Friday the 13th movies, it's that Jason mainly kills people having sex. Most of you should be good.
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I wonder if Bruce Wayne ever wears a Batman t-shirt.
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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you assholes.
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Its poor! But, What happens when Supper stars fart in public? lol
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2120.
AdultConnect, AdultConnect_uk
2120.
AdultConnect, AdultConnect_uk
2120.
AdultConnect, AdultConnect_uk
2120.
AdultConnect, AdultConnect_uk
When I was interviewed for a job in the chemistry department, they asked me if I had lab experience. I said I was more of a cat person.
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AdultConnect, AdultConnect_uk
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woke up just in time to push my cat off the bed before he threw up. today is going to be magical.
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How do I know when your sister's on her period..... Your dad's dick taste like blood
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How to get a job... Interviewer: "What's your biggest weakness?" Interviewee: "I never learn from my mistakes" Interviewer: "Oh, why's that?" Interviewee: "I never make any"
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What's the sharpest thing in the word? A fart. It goes right through your pants and doesn't leave a hole.
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An infectious disease enters a bar... the bartender says,"we dont serve your kind here". The disease replies, "well you're not a very good host!"
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The Presidential Debate We don't know if Hillary is telling the truth, and we're hoping Trump isn't
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I feel quite light today. Pounds aren't what they used to be.
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Saw a homeless guy babbling about conspiracy theories that doesn't really make sense... You could say it was a vague rant.
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Dear lord, I thank you for these noodles I am about to eat. Ramen.
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What do golfers do on nights out? **par**ty.
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Difference between priest and acne? What is the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until puberty to come on a kid's face.
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How to meet a girl: 1) Walk into a bar. 2) Shout "Heroes in a half shell." 3) When a girl yells back "Turtle Power," marry her.
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T Rex isnt so scary if you imagine a bunch of baby T Rexes watching Barney just giggling and rolling around on the ground playing with keys.
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Having the option to erase and re-record after having to leave a voicemail is one of my favorite things about life.
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Browsing this sub is like mining in a cave Full of bat shit and I mostly get the same things over again, but it's worth the occasional gold I find.
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My inspiration for jokes is like a guy at a brothel... It comes and goes... It also occasionally sucks ;)
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I hate how the losers of every election maintain such a high view of themselves... They're conceded
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What's a con-artists favorite holiday? Scamentine's Day.
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What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire? Dracowla!
AdultConnect_uk
Osama Bn Laden Jokes in the title.
AdultConnect_uk
Well it's like my dad always told me "When life gives ya lemons" Chances are you're in the fruit aisle.
AdultConnect_uk
What's the sharpest thing in the word? A fart. It goes right through your pants and doesn't leave a hole.
AdultConnect_uk
*job interview* Why do you want to be a psychiatrist? *pictures clients acting like chickens after I click my fingers* I want to help people
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Saw a homeless guy babbling about conspiracy theories that doesn't really make sense... You could say it was a vague rant.
AdultConnect_uk
What is the term for a group of Canadians? Is it "an apology"? "Oh look, there goes an apology of Canadians"
AdultConnect_uk
If your tweet gets stolen and posted on Facebook... It's your own fault for not making it offensive enough!
AdultConnect_uk
What do golfers do on nights out? **par**ty.
AdultConnect_uk
![[wife looking at pictures of my dead body with police] "why isn't he wearing](https://i.imgur.com/qRcMe0Bm.jpg)
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