Jizz

Adultconnect Uk pics

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_uk

How do you confuse a blind person? Toss them a basketball and ask them to read it.

How do you confuse a blind person? Toss them a basketball and ask them to read it.

AdultConnect_uk, AdultConnect, AdultConnect_usa

Hey, is your name Paul Revere? Because I want to give you a midnight ride!

Hey, is your name Paul Revere? Because I want to give you a midnight ride!

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_uk, AdultConnect_usa

I got tasered by a female cop the other night.. never have I laid eyes upon a more

I got tasered by a female cop the other night.. never have I laid eyes upon a more stunning beauty.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_uk, AdultConnect_usa

My toilet stopped working today. He decided he's had enough of my shit

My toilet stopped working today. He decided he's had enough of my shit

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect, AdultConnect_uk

"honey don't you think you're treating one of our kids unfairly?" "who?

"honey don't you think you're treating one of our kids unfairly?" "who? Tim, Felix or the fat one?"

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_uk, AdultConnect_usa, Adult_Network

There's a black man in my family tree... He's been hanging there for a while now.

There's a black man in my family tree... He's been hanging there for a while now.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_uk, AdultConnect_usa, Adult_Network

If we have learned anything from the Friday the 13th movies, it's that Jason mainly

If we have learned anything from the Friday the 13th movies, it's that Jason mainly kills people having sex. Most of you should be good.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_uk, AdultConnect_usa, Adult_Network

I wonder if Bruce Wayne ever wears a Batman t-shirt.

I wonder if Bruce Wayne ever wears a Batman t-shirt.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_uk, AdultConnect_usa, Adult_Network

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you assholes.

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you assholes.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_uk, AdultConnect_usa, Adult_Network, Swinger_City

Its poor! But, What happens when Supper stars fart in public? lol

Its poor! But, What happens when Supper stars fart in public? lol

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_uk, AdultConnect_usa, Adult_Network

2120.

2120.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_uk

2120.

2120.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_uk

2120.

2120.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_uk

2120.

2120.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_uk

When I was interviewed for a job in the chemistry department, they asked me if I

When I was interviewed for a job in the chemistry department, they asked me if I had lab experience. I said I was more of a cat person.

AdultConnect, AdultConnect_uk

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AdultConnect, AdultConnect_uk

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AdultConnect, AdultConnect_uk

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AdultConnect, AdultConnect_uk

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AdultConnect, AdultConnect_uk

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AdultConnect, AdultConnect_uk

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AdultConnect, AdultConnect_uk

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AdultConnect, AdultConnect_uk

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AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

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AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

woke up just in time to push my cat off the bed before he threw up. today is going

woke up just in time to push my cat off the bed before he threw up. today is going to be magical.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

How do I know when your sister's on her period..... Your dad's dick taste like blood

How do I know when your sister's on her period..... Your dad's dick taste like blood

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

How to get a job... Interviewer: "What's your biggest weakness?" Interviewee:

How to get a job... Interviewer: "What's your biggest weakness?" Interviewee: "I never learn from my mistakes" Interviewer: "Oh, why's that?" Interviewee: "I never make any"

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

What's the sharpest thing in the word? A fart. It goes right through your pants and

What's the sharpest thing in the word? A fart. It goes right through your pants and doesn't leave a hole.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

An infectious disease enters a bar... the bartender says,"we dont serve your

An infectious disease enters a bar... the bartender says,"we dont serve your kind here". The disease replies, "well you're not a very good host!"

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

The Presidential Debate We don't know if Hillary is telling the truth, and we're

The Presidential Debate We don't know if Hillary is telling the truth, and we're hoping Trump isn't

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

I feel quite light today. Pounds aren't what they used to be.

I feel quite light today. Pounds aren't what they used to be.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

Saw a homeless guy babbling about conspiracy theories that doesn't really make sense...

Saw a homeless guy babbling about conspiracy theories that doesn't really make sense... You could say it was a vague rant.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

Dear lord, I thank you for these noodles I am about to eat. Ramen.

Dear lord, I thank you for these noodles I am about to eat. Ramen.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

What do golfers do on nights out? **par**ty.

What do golfers do on nights out? **par**ty.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

Difference between priest and acne? What is the difference between a Catholic priest

Difference between priest and acne? What is the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until puberty to come on a kid's face.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

How to meet a girl: 1) Walk into a bar. 2) Shout "Heroes in a half shell."

How to meet a girl: 1) Walk into a bar. 2) Shout "Heroes in a half shell." 3) When a girl yells back "Turtle Power," marry her.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

T Rex isnt so scary if you imagine a bunch of baby T Rexes watching Barney just giggling

T Rex isnt so scary if you imagine a bunch of baby T Rexes watching Barney just giggling and rolling around on the ground playing with keys.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

Since Michael Jackson's death hundreds of children have gathered at the gates of

Since Michael Jackson's death hundreds of children have gathered at the gates of Neverland. Police have said that they will let them out once they find a locksmith. - http://ww.key-n-lock.com

AdultConnect_uk

Having the option to erase and re-record after having to leave a voicemail is one

Having the option to erase and re-record after having to leave a voicemail is one of my favorite things about life.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

Browsing this sub is like mining in a cave Full of bat shit and I mostly get the

Browsing this sub is like mining in a cave Full of bat shit and I mostly get the same things over again, but it's worth the occasional gold I find.

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

My inspiration for jokes is like a guy at a brothel... It comes and goes... It also

My inspiration for jokes is like a guy at a brothel... It comes and goes... It also occasionally sucks ;)

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

I hate how the losers of every election maintain such a high view of themselves...

I hate how the losers of every election maintain such a high view of themselves... They're conceded

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

What's the integral of 1/(cabin)? 1 natural log cabin. I'll show myself out.

What's the integral of 1/(cabin)? 1 natural log cabin. I'll show myself out.

AdultConnect_uk

What's a con-artists favorite holiday? Scamentine's Day.

What's a con-artists favorite holiday? Scamentine's Day.

AdultConnect_uk

What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire? Dracowla!

What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire? Dracowla!

AdultConnect_uk

Osama Bn Laden Jokes in the title.

Osama Bn Laden Jokes in the title.

AdultConnect_uk

I find like geologers make really good friends... ...they are very down to Earth.

I find like geologers make really good friends... ...they are very down to Earth.

AdultConnect_uk

Well it's like my dad always told me "When life gives ya lemons" Chances

Well it's like my dad always told me "When life gives ya lemons" Chances are you're in the fruit aisle.

AdultConnect_uk

What's the sharpest thing in the word? A fart. It goes right through your pants and

What's the sharpest thing in the word? A fart. It goes right through your pants and doesn't leave a hole.

AdultConnect_uk

*job interview* Why do you want to be a psychiatrist? *pictures clients acting like

*job interview* Why do you want to be a psychiatrist? *pictures clients acting like chickens after I click my fingers* I want to help people

AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

Ever since the news came out about Samsung.... Their phones have been blowing up.

Ever since the news came out about Samsung.... Their phones have been blowing up.

AdultConnect_uk

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls

AdultConnect_uk

Saw a homeless guy babbling about conspiracy theories that doesn't really make sense...

Saw a homeless guy babbling about conspiracy theories that doesn't really make sense... You could say it was a vague rant.

AdultConnect_uk

What is the term for a group of Canadians? Is it "an apology"? "Oh

What is the term for a group of Canadians? Is it "an apology"? "Oh look, there goes an apology of Canadians"

AdultConnect_uk

Dear lord, I thank you for these noodles I am about to eat. Ramen.

Dear lord, I thank you for these noodles I am about to eat. Ramen.

AdultConnect_uk

If your tweet gets stolen and posted on Facebook... It's your own fault for not making

If your tweet gets stolen and posted on Facebook... It's your own fault for not making it offensive enough!

AdultConnect_uk

What do golfers do on nights out? **par**ty.

What do golfers do on nights out? **par**ty.

AdultConnect_uk

Did you hear about the calendar thief? He got 12 months; they say his days are numbered!

Did you hear about the calendar thief? He got 12 months; they say his days are numbered!

AdultConnect_uk

[wife looking at pictures of my dead body with police] "why isn't he wearing

[wife looking at pictures of my dead body with police] "why isn't he wearing a shirt" we believe he removed it when he challenged the coyote

AdultConnect_uk