Hotel California is basically a negative Yelp review with a two minute guitar solo.
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Jizz
Adultconnect Uk pics
Sorry I pissed on the walls of your bathroom, but the flowery wall paper made me think I was outside.. Also you're out of Valium
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How do two lawyers greet each other? With a firm handshake.
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What's the name of the best brewer in the world? Bock Goodale
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Q: How many Honor Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 22 one to screw it in 21 to shoot the bulb.
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When I die, I want a disease named after me, with symptoms that include "being fucking awesome at everything."
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Your baby might be adorable, but so is my cat and she cleans her own butt.
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CW: The boss said she wanted to see you. Me: That's flattering, but I don't date people from work.
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I think r/jokes may be glitched Top of all time and new both show the same jokes
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A programmer began to cuss Because getting to sleep was a fuss. When laying in her bed Looping round in her head Was: while (!asleep()): sheep++;
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Them: If you were stranded on a desert island with any two people, living or dead, who would they be? Me: Can they both be dead?
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Did you hear about the man who choked on an issue of The Guardian after learning about his brothers passing? He found the news hard to swallow.
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Put the punchline in the title. How do you piss off a redditor?
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Islam is a race. Because it's inbreeds fucking each other.
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Dad and son A son asks his father "Why does my bum hurt" while the father replies "Because I love you son"
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Life is like art done in chalk, beautiful but temporary, enjoy it while possible.
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What type of fruit is not allowed to get married? Cantaloupe...
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If you hear the words "oh yeah, suck it" coming from my bedroom, it's probably just me vacuuming.
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The Presidential Debate We don't know if Hillary is telling the truth, and we're hoping Trump isn't
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I feel quite light today. Pounds aren't what they used to be.
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