Jizz

Tomatoscore: ROTTEN

u_42words, WhitePeopleTwitter

suspiciouslyspecific

u_42words

I have now tried and failed to get this to even show up in the /new queue of three different subreddits. I give up. So here. Have at it. May thy karmas flow like wine.

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Me, a thousand angry comments later: "yikes, good thing I didn't post the second half of that tweet, amiright?"

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note to self: know your demographic

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i was murdered today. im dead now. ?

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FunFact™ - I will sometimes leave a few words off of a comment otherwise in keeping with my whole pathetic "uSeRnAmE cHeCkS oUt" thing in order to be able to edit in an addendum I am literally 1000% certain will be needed later.

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"cHeCkMaTe, OBAMA ??????"

u_42words, FuckYouKaren

yipe ?

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?

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I give up

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?

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literally the MINUTE it hit the top of the sub. I know because I was on the toilet with my phone.

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personally I preferred "Expandables 2"

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suuuuure wish I wasn't permabanned from r/quityourbullshit, because holy jeez

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me, deliberately wording a post's text so as to avoid contractions and hyphenations and stuff that makes it trickier to count the words, and then still getting called out for my username not checking out by someone who counted the words wrong

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therewasanattempt

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forty-two words about reddit ?☺️?

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placeholder, ignor pls

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outstanding move

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So guess what sub just quietly removed my post off its /hot and (I assume, based on my past experience with reddit moderators) is currently in the process of sending me a "you have been banned" message even as you read this?

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OH WHAT THE FUCK

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obligagory

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Right, who had "ABoringDystopia" today? Come collect your prize.

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so I guess they weren't finished punishing me ?

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a confession

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ABoringDystopia

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See?

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...hooray? (srsly what tf does "based" even mean)

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lol, nice

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duly noted, you absolute fucking cretins ?‍♂️

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it's been like five hours. i don't think he's coming back. shame; i was genuinely curious to see him reveal the bombshell he made it sound like he was really champing at the bit to "oWn" me with "ePiC sTyLe" or whatever ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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?‍♂️

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this is such a true story it makes my teeth hurt

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I'm HELPING! ?

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I'm HELPING! ?

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welp ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯

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welp ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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forty-two words about EnLiGhTeNeD CeNtRiSm

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you guys tricked me ?

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Dear Everybody in my Inbox...

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"6 comments, sorted by old"

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42 words about reddit

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42 words about 14 words

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the two and only two types of people I meet in my travels through reddit

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This got stomped flat the second I tried posting this somewhere else, so here. Fucking choke on it.

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This got stomped flat and the thread filled up with "*sO bRaVe*" comments in like thirty seconds, so here. Here is a confession that my life is a relentless existential nightmare for my "*followers*" to jizz their cargoshorts over. Choke on it.

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cursed_edit

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'member how I said the first comment was always a trip?

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Ahh, redditors

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¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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?

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like I said: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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reddit:

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called it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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man, I'm gonna use the FUCK outta this

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ignore this. this is just because imgur suxx

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somebody go fuck with /dontyouknowwhoiam with this

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fuck ALL of you

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all you had to say was "sez the hentai spammer" but NOOOOOOO, you had to go and do the thing

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