Jizz

I was in bed with my girlfriend. She said, "Does the fact that I'm blind turn you off?" I said, "No, of course not" She said, "Why can't you get an erection then?" I said, "To be honest, the guide dog lying between us is a bit off-putting"

randomsexiness

want to know an instant way to make your cock bigger? ... Shove the ruler into your stomach harder

randomsexiness

Whoever invented 'Ladies First' is a fucking genius. It's the easiest way to stare at a woman's ass without getting caught.

randomsexiness

I swear to god, one day I will have my revenge. One day it'll be the onion crying.

randomsexiness

Saw a chameleon today.... So I guess it's safe to say it was a pretty shitty chameleon.

randomsexiness

wait. it's stuck lemme get that for you

RealGirls

I refuse to let my son become a mime. It's frightening how many of them end up on the street.

randomsexiness

incredible cleavage

randomsexiness

short shorts

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butterface

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on the stairs

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Still {f}ucking bored ;)

gonewild

I know, I should have edited out the dude's back to the right but it is 6 in the morning and I'm rushing to get these posted before I head to work.... where I'll spend all my free time here.

randomsexiness

someone photoshop her onto a surfboard

randomsexiness

from behind

randomsexiness