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I was in bed with my girlfriend. She said, "Does the fact that I'm blind turn you off?" I said, "No, of course not" She said, "Why can't you get an erection then?" I said, "To be honest, the guide dog lying between us is a bit off-putting"

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randomsexiness

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small skirt

small skirt

randomsexiness

on the rocks

on the rocks

randomsexiness

dark green

dark green

randomsexiness

I've just seen a soul singer carrying a box of 80's computers...

I think it was

I've just seen a soul singer carrying a box of 80's computers... I think it was Lionel Richie and the commodores.

randomsexiness

want to know an instant way to make your cock bigger? ... Shove the ruler into your

want to know an instant way to make your cock bigger? ... Shove the ruler into your stomach harder

randomsexiness

Whoever invented 'Ladies First' is a fucking genius.
It's the easiest way to stare

Whoever invented 'Ladies First' is a fucking genius. It's the easiest way to stare at a woman's ass without getting caught.

randomsexiness

I swear to god, one day I will have my revenge.
One day it'll be the onion crying.

I swear to god, one day I will have my revenge. One day it'll be the onion crying.

randomsexiness

Marriage: Betting someone half your shit that you'll love them forever.

Marriage: Betting someone half your shit that you'll love them forever.

randomsexiness

Saw a chameleon today....
So I guess it's safe to say it was a pretty shitty chameleon.

Saw a chameleon today.... So I guess it's safe to say it was a pretty shitty chameleon.

randomsexiness

wait. it's stuck lemme get that for you

wait. it's stuck lemme get that for you

RealGirls

I refuse to let my son become a mime. It's frightening how many of them end up on

I refuse to let my son become a mime. It's frightening how many of them end up on the street.

randomsexiness

incredible cleavage

incredible cleavage

randomsexiness

short shorts

short shorts

randomsexiness

butterface

butterface

randomsexiness

on the stairs

on the stairs

randomsexiness